Pete Doherty seems to get away with everything short of murder, and though he makes for interesting conversation, the former Libertines front man has become a Spinal Tap-esque parody of a rock star to critical acclaim. The acclaim, of course, centers around his drug arrests and other “pity me” actions, which has to be the case as his musical viability has long since diminished and only holds sway in the UK, where bad taste in the medium seems to be commonplace.

The Libertines barely made a dent across the pond, and his current project Babyshambles seems to be nothing more than just another untalented group of hack musicians trying desperately to avoid getting a real job. It must be difficult for Pete’s bandmates to be a part of that circus, knowing full well that the only reason they have a career in music stems from their association with the poster boy for excessive living. While I wholeheartedly welcome anyone to do as they please to themselves so long as others aren’t affected in the process, it’s not a positive personality trait to let your drug use and abuse get in the way of you supposed friend’s careers.

But therein lies the rub, as Shakespeare would say. Were it not for Pete being Pete, there likely wouldn’t be any careers to ruin. Certainly his association with Kate Moss has helped to propel him to front page tabloid fodder, but even without it, he manages to approach life with so little concern for anyone but himself that he is all but guaranteed a perpetual a place in the limelight of infamy. While I’m not one to decry the culture of addiction and exclaim “think of the children” in front of Parliament, I have no qualms admitting that Mr. Doherty owes the greatest portion of his success to society’s fascination with a human train wreck.

Someday soon, Pete Doherty will grow old, and no one will be collecting money in one hand and patting him on the back with the other. It’s likely he’ll never realize that the joke he has become is a joke he played on himself. He will, in time, realize that the well wishers will only hang around so long as the nature of the fickle public is to move on and forget. Who knows, perhaps he’ll get his act together and take his career a bit more seriously. While it has worked for some, the usual precedence is to first give something of value to the world of music, then let the pressure of doing so result in your fall from grace. Since Pete hasn’t arguably accomplished the former, will anyone care if he cleans himself up?

Life seems to be a dream for Pete, though that dream will surely end when the only applause he hears is coming from the other members of the rehabilitation program he’s in. It’s either that or an early death that one might think would allow Mr. Doherty’s current legend live forever. To that end, I refer to American politics, specifically the vice presidential debate of 1988 when saying, “Sir, I saw Curt Cobain perform, I grew up on Curt Cobain, I’ve listened to Curt Cobain countless times, and you are no Curt Cobain.”

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Brandy, the R&B singer and former star of TV’s “Moesha”, recently killed another motorist on the Los Angeles 405 freeway by failing to stop, rear-ending a mother of two at high speed and ending her life. While it’s true that accidents do happen, so do vehicular manslaughter charges against most people who recklessly cause road fatalities. Once again, celebrity culture has prevailed, and despite her repeated admittance of guilt both at the scene and afterwards, no charges have been filed.

I wonder how vehemently Brandy herself would pursue charges had someone not paying attention rear-ended her mother and ended her life? I also wonder why the State Police of California, who were the first on the scene and are in charge of the investigation, have failed to press charges. Is Brandy’s career more valuable than Awatef Aboudihaj, the lady who was killed? Do her two motherless children deserve no justice for having to grow up without a parent because of someone’s careless actions?

It’s almost insulting that a crime (and the last time I checked, it is still a crime to recklessly cause the death of another person) committed by a celebrity would go unpunished while the same crime committed by a regular person would cause that person to suffer the immediate consequences of justice. In my opinion, no one should be above the law. Yet this poor ladies’ life, snuffed out by the actions of an irresponsible person, apparently has no more importance than a dollar value in a civil suit.

Why exactly do we spoil celebrities to the point that we are allowing them to involuntarily, and in some cases such as Robert Blake and O.J. Simpson, voluntarily murder other people without consequence? What sort of society do we live in when a human life and all the lives adversely affected by its passing are meaningless in the face of celebrity? I’d be willing to bet that there are hundreds if not thousands of cases in California where everyday people have killed others in the course of being reckless and paid a heavy price for doing so. If justice is suitable for them, why is it less suitable for Brandy?

Don’t get me wrong, celebrity deserves the trappings associated with it. You want a better table at Spago, fine. You want access to places I would be hard pressed to ever see the interior of, knock yourself out…you deserve it. What I can’t condone, and what society shouldn’t be willing to overlook, is that celebrity now seems to grant a free pass to get away with murder. Justice apparently isn’t applied equally to all, and that’s an injustice that needs to be rectified.

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I can’t count the sheer number of times I myself have gotten angry enough to throw my cell phone at an assistant or jeopardize my multi-million dollar contracts over a late night cocaine binge because of the pressures involved in looking abnormally thin and making countless scores of preteen girls question their self worth. It’s a hard job, but I’ll be damned if those clothes are going to walk, turn and walk back on their own.

I know what you’re thinking, I get paid more than the GDP of some small countries to be photographed and put on outfits are so ridiculously adorned that they’ll never make it to sweatshop assembly lines, and to be honest, you’re right. But what you don’t know is how pouty I have to look when doing so. Imagine trying to give someone a kiss while looking sullen. Now imagine holding that kiss for 30 seconds at a time. As you can probably guess, that can be exhausting! Still think I’m undeserving of a little unpunished bad behavior?

Sure, I get free designer labels all the time, the benefits of being a celebrity and the sincere gratitude of countless weight loss programs across the world, but look at the scrutiny I’m under. You get to work all day at your job, where you enjoy the company of the same old people you see day in and day out. Were I not surrounded by my massive entourage of yes people and publicists, I would have the pressure of meeting new and exciting people each and every day.

It’s ok, don’t cry for me. Just be more understanding when I and those like me occasionally break the law yet rarely if ever pay the consequences. After all, if I weren’t here to show you just how fat and unattractive you and your children are, how would you ever know? In my mind, I deserve to throw my lack of weight around and get away with whatever I please. Furthermore, who else is going to grace the cover of Vogue or Cosmo? Not you, that’s for sure! You might make it to Good Housekeeping on your best day, but that’s the kiss of death for my career.

Just remember, you don’t want the pressures of my life. Well, you might want them if you get arrested, but otherwise you probably don’t. You can eat all the caviar you can get your weathered hands on, though we both know that isn’t much, while I have to enjoy it moderation or risk gaining a pound. Whoever said life was fair?

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